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Jun. 19th, 2005 @ 07:03 pm Final Entry (keep in mind, THIS IS JUST FOR ATTENTION!)
Reading through comments, I find myself really angry. So not only does everybody think I'm mean, but they don't take me seriously either, my emotions are invalid.

Okay, I am completely, 100% done with livejournal. No more updating for me, and I'm not getting a new name. It seems like I'm really angst ridden or w/e, but that's because I only feel like updating when I'm upset because I've got something to get out. I'm tired of hearing that I'm just doing this for attention, because I'm not; it's a journal, I write what I feel in it, and if I'm feeling bad, God forbid that I actually say I'm feeling bad, obviously that's just a cry for attention and not me trying to get out my emotions in a more healthy way. And FYI, I had teen agnst in like sixth grade. I'm not ANGSTY, God forbid I'm ever actually upset about something without it being attributed to my crazy teenage hormones! Ninth grade has been fucking awful, okay? I've had a fucking terrible year. Looking back on it really does upset me and yes, makes me feel like I have no friends. Fuck you if you don't believe me and you just want to say it's hormones. Whatever, because I'm pretty sure I would know how I'm feeling about one hundred times better than you. I always feel so stressed out and so lonely, so why when I'm trying to express this, or explain this, this that I'm just more miserable than I've ever been in my entire life, why would you choose now to just brush it off like my emotions are invalid and tell me I'm doing it for attention as if it's some big joke? Why would you pick now?
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Jun. 19th, 2005 @ 06:21 pm (no subject)
Maybe I just always assume the worst, but you know what sucks? Looking at someone's profile who used to be one of your best friends, and seeing song lyrics or something that are completely about trying to help a friend through a serious problem and knowing, that even though you're going through some issues, it's not for you. It's for somebody else; their new best friend, who's current problem is something like two guys both want to bang her and she can't pick.

But who knows? Maybe the world flipped upsidedown in one day and it is for me. And that sounds awful, this is coming out awful; it's just hard to explain. It's not that I feel like everything should be about me, it just reinforces the fact that I feel like we're so distant, just plain not good friends anymore, that maybe they don't even care.

God, I just don't know how to say it. It's just reinforcing that whole "everyone is better friends with somebody else than they are with me"
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